We aren’t obnoxious. We only care about what we want
My girlfriends and I used to look forward to the peaceful hours when we could get away from our male friends and sit under the stars with a drink and have deep and important chats.
It feels like an eternity ago.
We used to do this a lot when we were eighteen. Girls require the company of others. We need to be able to communicate and know that someone is listening, and nothing beats the ear of a girlfriend. We’re also quite competent in this area. It’s like soul-searching wrapped up in a wonderful friendship package.
Boys and relationships, and occasionally, Michael Hutchence, dominated the discourse back then.
In my teenage fantasies, you are the leading lady.
Where was I, exactly?
These days, I don’t see many of my former pals. We’ve come a long way from those Michael Hutchence-like lovesick females who shared everything and sobbed together over the most little of matters (okay, the bourbon may have played a part in that bit).
It’s inevitable.
Hot rock idols die much too young, and stray strands of untamed hair sprout in places where they had never been before. But every now and again, I can snare a few lovely hours with my pals to reconnect and catch up.
Women require the support of one another. We need someone who understands us to discuss profound secrets with. Throughout my life, my sisters have provided me with a great deal of emotional support. We provide one other with a safe haven when we need it the most.
Although the topics of conversation have evolved over time, the profound ties between them have only become stronger. Men, predictably, continue to reverse their way into our debates.
I asked my pals what a 40-something woman looks for in a man during a recent get-together.
Are you willing to be a fly on the wall for a while?
Here are the top four traits that these stunning 40+ ladies have to offer:
(Disclaimer: the following isn’t expert relationship advise; it’s simply a few Aussie women’s opinions on the topic.)
Please don’t judge us based on our age.
The remarks have been quite complimentary. We don’t want to be compared to a lady in her 20s or 30s because, well, we’re not her.
Some older men, particularly those in their forties and fifties, desire a youthful “trophy” on their arm. Every woman in her 40s has undoubtedly wondered whether her partner has considered trading her in for a younger version at some time.
The First Wives Club is a well-known film.
Fortunately, some men prefer the affection of an experienced lady who understands how to treat her man. He realizes that ladies his age are the ones with whom he can connect since they have a similar demographic.
Women respect a man who views life through our eyes; who appreciates us for who we are and what we have to give, such as confidence.
We are in our 40s, with self-awareness and life experience, and we have worked hard for every inch of those precious nuggets.
We have a clear understanding of who we are and what we desire. In exchange, we’d like it if our husbands recognized such characteristics.
Women in their fifties and sixties want for love.
Leave the flowers out. Was this ever said out loud by a woman?
This is where we may be outliers, but have a look:
A wonderful gesture is to give a woman flowers. They have a pleasant odor and are attractive to look at. Still, we have enough on our plates without locating an illusive vase, cutting stems, and mixing a sachet of sweet life-prolonging powder into the water before meticulously arranging the bouquet.
Not to mention the days spent cleaning up the withering petals and ensuring the water didn’t run out.
To put it another way, we don’t want something that makes us work more.
To a woman in her forties, quality romance means attention and time. We want to be able to sense and enjoy the bond.
We want to be “wooed” by acts of kindness, respect, and support, and we want to be treated with respect.
In our jobs, many of us work long hours. When a man takes the time to understand how you prefer your tea rather of receiving flowers, it’s far more romantic and meaningful.
There are no participants in this game.
“I don’t want to pretend to be someone I’m not, and I’m too exhausted to cope with someone who is.”
It’s all true.
Don’t bring the games, we’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again. We’re too… uh… elderly and exhausted to go around in circles. Time is a very valuable commodity. We don’t want to squander our time on games when we really want someone wonderful.
Women in their forties have had enough of romances and weddings. We’ve learned enough from previous experiences to know exactly what we want in a man, and we’re eager to get it right this time.
Mature women seek a real partner who is compassionate and lives his life from the heart — someone who will never betray her heart.
We want a man who is emotionally stable and self-aware, who can communicate his emotions and accept responsibility for his actions, who understands the importance of time, love, and vulnerability.
To put it another way, mature women need a real relationship.
It’s Crucial to Be Self-Aware.
In her forties, it takes a special guy to steal and hold a woman’s heart. She aspires to be a person with soul. An individual who is aware of his own identity. He understands her, has learnt from previous relationships, and isn’t interested in repeating old patterns of conduct.
To be honest, a woman in her forties finds the possibility of having a wonderful conversation with an educated man quite enticing. It’s a turn-on for the ages. The human brain is the most potent sex organ for a reason, so utilize it.
Narrow-mindedness, stinginess, and nitpicking are all bad ideas. Allow yourself to laugh at yourself and let minor things go.
It’s enticing to laugh.
Being considerate is also important.
We are ladies who admire guys who ponder higher-level ideas and the purpose of life. Someone who can focus on the broader picture and has a broad perspective.
While we’re on the subject of self-awareness, a little (or a lot) of it in the bedroom won’t hurt, either — a selfless lover makes the world go round.
And then there was that.
Self-actualization is the goal of life. It’s a team effort. A wise guy is one who acknowledges the gift of a woman’s heart, no matter what stage of life he is in.
True connection is the key to unlocking the treasure trove of real love. In a relationship, it is what women in their forties seek. These women, at least.
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