There are two factors that cause women to lose interest in males.
When I first began dating, I thought attraction was an art form.
A beautiful mosaic made by two people, each with their unique brush strokes and favorite colors. I still believe this to some degree. It’s the result of two sophisticated, complex creatures combining to create something equally intricate and complex.
This approach to appeal as art worked effectively for me in my early years. Math and science have never been my strong suits. I’ve always gravitated toward the humanities and avoided anything that required me to enter tiny figures into even smaller spaces (hello, excel!).
However, when I started to date more and reflect on my experiences, I realized that there are more patterns in attraction than I had previously believed.
It was a foregone conclusion that if I achieved certain goals, the man would disappear. The man would come after me hard if I did anything else. It was likewise true in the other direction. If a man performed certain things, I’d be intrigued. If he did anything else, I’d double-check! Scaramucci is a Scaramucci who is speedier than a Scaramucci. Interest has a degree of predictability, which put my initial hypothesis to the test.
Attraction is as much, if not more, a science as it is an art form.
I’d want to offer a disclaimer before I go into depth about what I found. I haven’t been named the official spokesman for Womankind (I mean… Given how fantastic that job would be, though, what I’m saying may not apply to all women. However, in terms of what keeps me engaged, I can speak for myself. And I’ve ran this past a number of my female friends, who all think that I’ve nailed it. That’s all there is to it.
So far, here’s what I’ve observed. The two things that spark ladies’ attention.
Women remain interested in their partners when their connection intrigues them.
If you have one but not the other, a lady will lose interest (or none). Let’s take a closer look at what’s going on.
He’s completely absorbed.
If a woman thinks she is the focus of her partner’s attention, she will stay interested. What do you think this is?
He’s on the hunt for her. Women, particularly in the early stages of dating, often lose interest at this time. Men, woo her. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever Rather of continuous texting, this entails picking up the phone and dialing a number.
This involves maintaining frequent communication. “If a man doesn’t contact you within 48 hours, he’s not interested,” a male acquaintance once told me. It’s true, and a woman recognizes it. If a woman is left wondering how you feel about her as a consequence of your absence, her attraction will soon fade. To maintain her attention, follow the rules of courtship: flowers just because, opening doors, showing up on time, all manner of gentlemanly conduct, and, most importantly, frequent contact.
Tell her how much fun you had on your date. This isn’t so much a motivational speech as it is a fact: interested men can’t help but reach out, and they can’t reach out fast enough. I lose interest in a guy if he does not call me within 24 hours after a date.
He’s curious to learn more about her. He wants to know what makes her tick. He likes to ask her questions rather than speak about himself. How else would he figure out what drives her, frustrates her, and makes her cry? (By the way, it’s Toy Story 3.)
And not just any questions, like where she works and lives, but queries about her worldview. Men who don’t ask these kinds of questions lose women’s attention (or any at all).
He wants to bring her joy. He’s curious about how to go above and beyond. “How frequently do you want to be contacted, and how do you want to be contacted?” I was once invited out on a date by a guy. Subtext: I love you and want to help you hit a home run.
This was incredible and very hot. When a guy is smitten with a woman, he will continually position himself to surpass any potential competitors. If a guy isn’t striving to find out what she loves (I use the word “trying” loosely since it’s more of a pleasure than work for a captivated man), she will lose interest.
He has a crush on her. He declares his love for her. He never fails to say anything to her. He’s quite clear about how he expects her to act. Believe me when I tell that this will hold her attention. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other.
He’s enamored with her.
He’s totally absorbed in it. Because she is the one doing them, even the little things seem attractive. He doesn’t care whether she’s wearing yoga pants around the house; he’s all about that stunning lady in the beautiful black trousers.
“Like a flower amid thorns is my love among the young women,” sings Solomon in Song of Solomon. Flower is the name of his lady. Every other woman is a source of irritation for her. Nobody can compare to her. There aren’t any at all.
…
And he informs her of this. He doesn’t only demonstrate but also shows his love for her. My heart melts and gets magnetically drawn to a guy who communicates his emotions for me freely, in my experience.
His expression of interest reinforces my own. Express your admiration for her. Tell her, “When you do x, it makes me feel like Superman.” Make a note of all the wonderful things you’re thinking about her and tell her about it. If you’re thinking or feeling anything nice, SAY IT. The results will be in your favor ;)
I’m enthralled with him.
A woman’s attraction to a guy who intrigues her will last. This is a guy who has the following characteristics:
Is a lifelong student who is fascinated by the world around her.
Is someone who has values and follows them.
Has a wide range of connections (family and friends)
Appreciates and takes care of his own physique.
As a consequence of taking real risks, he has a wide variety of life experiences.
He has hobbies and interests that he loves.
Is he completing his mission?
He’s figured out what he wants to accomplish with his life and is moving forward with it. He is driven, yet he also takes time to relax and have fun. He is methodical in his attempts to develop and invest in those that matter to him. Every day, he looks forward to learning, doing, and contributing. He’s a contented guy.
Everything is a source of life for him. He doesn’t need the companionship of a woman to be complete. He already has a happy and successful life. He understands what he’s doing. He’s someone she can trust, who she can learn from, who she admires, and who she wants. He’s flawless, and he’s not like her. And she’s pulled in by his steady, quiet demeanor.
We’ve all had individuals in our lives that are one thing but not the other. For example, someone who is fascinated by us yet has nothing going on in their own life.
That’s a deal-breaker for me. Or the wonderful person who has an incredible life but never reaches out or tries. This is also a deterrent. Both parts — intrigued and intriguing — are needed to keep the audience’s attention.
I recently attended an event where the speaker was unable to take his mind off his wife. She was a major stumbling point in their relationship. She was such a smart lady. He admired both her smile and her legs (not in that order). She was in the audience, in the first row, and she was glowing. We could power the state of Michigan forever if we connected her to a generator.
What is the most interesting aspect? By global standards, she was *average* in looks. It didn’t make a difference in the end. Her glistening was due to her man’s amazement.
For a brief time, I was almost jealous of her. I didn’t want to be with her husband because I wanted someone to care about me the way he obviously cared about her.
Gentlemen, don’t miss out on this opportunity. It’s less about how you look or how much money you earn and more about how you make her feel. Your devotion has the ability to make a lady shine.
Don’t be afraid to use it. In the light of your attention and the shadow of your presence, she’ll blossom. That isn’t to say that women can’t be happy without a partner. That isn’t correct. It’s the fact that a lady bathed in a man’s attention produces a unique sort of light. It’s just breathtaking.
And the speaker was fascinated on many levels. He was a fascinating individual. He was able to make a difference in people’s lives via his public speaking profession. He had an intriguing and captivating personality.
He was demonstrating his beliefs via his actions. He was driven by a feeling of belonging and a sense of mission. He was a guy she looked up to and adored.
I used to compare couples who had been together for decades and were still in love with each other to couples who were dismal and made onlookers want to avoid commitment, and I used to marvel how the same circumstance — years in a relationship — could result in such differences in results.
I’m not as puzzled as I once was. It’s referred to as interest science. Smitten lovers are in charge of captivating others. It’s as simple as that. They’re still interested, and they’re still showing it, and they’re still interested, and they’re still living it.
That is the key component.
It makes me want to be patient and wait for the real thing when I see couples like that. It also validates every prior choice to never settle for less than the finest.
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